It’s hard to put words to seeing your baby in massive amounts of pain and having no way of taking that pain away. I’m Daddy, I’m supposed to fix everything for her. Amy is very much so a Daddy’s girl, I am admittedly wrapped around her little finger. I would do anything for her.
Most of the time Amy will run to me so I can kiss what ever hurts, be it a hand or a knee. I kiss it and she will smile and run away with the pain gone. This time was different. Both of us are here for her so Amy will never be alone, and always taken case of. So, Amy’s Mom would need to step away for what ever reason, and she would just start screaming. She wanted mommy and would tell me to go away. She wanted nothing to do with me. This hurt more then I thought it would, how can the little girl who always wants daddy to kiss her boo-boo away want nothing to do with me?
I felt useless, their was nothing I could do for her. I know that she loved me and this was nothing more then fear.. She was in more pain then she’d ever experienced in her short life, but it still hurt to hear here say she didn’t want me around.
I did what ever Amy’s mom needed me to do, run and get the nurse, get her food. This was the best thing I could do to support Amy. One time I was asked to run to the pharmacy to drop off her prescriptions, well guess what the gift shop was right next to it. So thinking I would run in and grab and little snack for myself, I ended up finding a new little friend for Amy.
As a father it is hard to be rejected by your kid. Just know in the end you will always support them, and do what ever you can for them- despite them not wanting you for what ever reason. It’s all we can do. They will look back and hear the story of this day and will understand that you were there from them.