I was worried about Amy going back to school today, she hates wearing her brace now, and going without a brace was *NOT* going to be a choice.
She woke up in a combative mood, refusing to go to school, and insisting that she stayed home with me. I was tempted to allow it… but then what does that say about school? Does that set her up to stay home whenever she wants? That’s not okay.
So I told her she was going… and instantly she starts screaming about her leg and how badly it hurts. It tore at my heart for a split second, and then it made me angry, because I thought she was faking. Then in the next instant, I felt like a monster for doubting her, then my heart broke all over again because I just didn’t know what the right answer was.
So, I asked her if she wanted to go to ballet. She stopped wailing, and nodded. I reminded her that she can’t dance if her leg hurt. She stopped and thought about that, and allowed me to dress her. Well, she allowed her dad to…
I knew it. Faker.
Then she stood up (braced) and walked towards the bathroom. Well, lurched. Her limp was so bad, she could barely bear any weight.
I knew it. I’m a monster.
I carried her to the bathroom and she started to cry again. This time she wanted medicine, both “purple medicine” (Tylenol) and Icy Hot. After getting her medicated, rubbed down, and clothes back in place, I carried her back into the bathroom. She finished getting ready for the day, then under her own power, walked to the door, got her shoes on, and walked to the car.
Maybe she’s okay?
I was about to get into the car, when I decided to run back in the house and get her wheelchair. Just in case. “BUT I DON’T WANT MY WHEELCHAIR! I! WANT! TO! WALK!” Ooooooookay. I told her that I was just going to leave it in the car, and that she could walk. She chilled.
We made the short trip to school, and I lifted her out of her car seat and set her on her feet. She took a single step, and started to cry again. “Please get my wheelchair.” she whined softly “I don’t want to dance anymore.”
Monster. ?
I pulled her chair out, buckled her in, and we went to school.
I helped her wash her hands, put her name on the chart, signed her in, and let her teacher know she was medicated, so they wouldn’t give her anything during the day.
Then we left, my son and I went grocery shopping, and I tried not to worry about her, or the 1,000 other things on my mind right now.
We picked her up at the usual time. She was sitting on the carpet, looking at a book with friends. Her wheelchair was behind her with her jacket hung on it. When she noticed me, she jumped to her feet, like it was any other day, and ran to me, giving me a huge hug, bubbling over about her day and the songs she had sung.
About an hour and a half before I got there she had gotten out of her chair, declaring she was fine.
I pushed her chair, now occupied by her brother, and put it away while she chattered.
She’s totally fine.
We went home, had lunch, and she asked to watch Frosty the Snowman. A couple minutes later, she started screaming again. Tylenol in, Icy Hot on, she calmed, a few minutes later… fine again.
This disease is giving me whiplash. We’re leaving to go see the pediatrician soon. Maybe he has an idea? I’m at a loss. ? I just want this part to be over. I’m emotionally exhausted.
Time to leave, what does she do?
Emotional whiplash. She sure loves puddles though. ❤️
